Goodbye Mommy

As many of you know my mom lost her battle with cancer a week ago. She was a very strong lady and fought till the end. I didn't talk about her illness on here as she didn't want the whole world knowing what she was going through or feeling sorry for her.

As we go onto our next adventure with Brocs upcoming surgery on Thursday, all I can think of is wanting to talk with my mom. Having her telling me everything will be okay. Helping me double check everything the nurses and Drs are doing. When Broc had his OHS in 2010 my mom came with us. It was so nice to have her support. Although at times she was a little over bearing it was great to know that she was there if I had a question or wasn't sure about something. In 2012 when Broc had his first vascular surgery my mom wasn't able to be here with us as she was undergoing treatment. I was able to skype her everyday and ask her all my questions. She was there for me at 2 or 4 in the morning when I couldn't sleep or Broc wasn't doing so well. The days that Broc was seizing in the hospital my mom was on skype 24/7 with me. It was like she was sitting next to me holding my hand through it all. During Brocs brain surgery this year we were able to face time which was wonderful. She was able to see Broc and once again comfort me when I was concerned. During Brocs last surgery in Dec my mom was very ill. I was able to talk to her but a lot of the time she never remembered much so it was very difficult for her to talk at length. I know it was killing her not to be there for me.

Well this Thursday we will be going into Brocs surgery with no mom. No-one to talk to at 2 or 4 in the morning. No-one to ask questions or have my fears calmed down. Mommy you surely will be missed. You taught me how to fight for what I believe in and stand up for myself. To ask questions until I understand something. To keep believing in myself. I will never forget that you were my first householder. Even though I was only 3 and couldn't read you helped me draw pictures to remember what I had to say.

I loved working at the Breastfeeding Clinic with you and becoming a consultant. I wanted to follow in your steps of becoming a nurse but the studying was just too much for my brain. Everything that I learnt from you has helped me to be a better mommy to the boys.I am able to take care of Brocs medical needs with ease. I know you would love to help me take care of him.

Soon we will all be together,happy and healthy.

Here are a few pics of me and my family as well as some pics of my mom and us over the years.